In other news,I thought the weaning process was in full swing, but I was mistaken. We did have a bit of a setback when Delaney got sick and nursing was one of the only ways she could get any liquids or nutrition. So now, instead of nursing less, she's banging on my chest and demanding it more than ever. The bright spot is that we've stopped the before-bed nursing session and Delaney doesn't seem to miss it. For the last week, Roger's been putting her to bed. So, now I nurse her either right before or right after her dinner. Next, she gets a bath and has some playtime and then Roger reads her a story, brushes her teeth and puts her to bed. It was a hard habit for me to give up because I nursed her, brushed her teeth and put her to bed every single night of her life up until recently. Delaney, on the other hand, is taking it like a champ. She hasn't put up a fuss once or acted like she misses it one bit. She's so easy-going and adaptable. I will admit that there are benefits for me. I can finish my chores or take a bath and sip a glass of wine or sit and read while Roger handles bedtime. And, he gets the benefit of spending more time with Delaney and reading to her and bonding with her before she goes to sleep.
Although we've dropped this one nursing session, I'm torn about whether and when to drop others and whether or not to wean now altogether. Roger's expressed an interest in me weaning her now because he thinks she's gotten the major benefits from nursing that we hoped she'd get. He wants to be able to be the one to give her breakfast in the morning so I can sleep in. And, he wants me to be able to eat lobster and crawfish with him again (I avoid high-allergy foods, such as shellfish, just in case Delaney would have problems with them). I'll admit, these are all great reasons.
But, I just don't know if I'm ready or if she's ready. Our nursing relationship is one that I deeply enjoy. Once it's over, it's over. So, I want to pick when it should be over very carefully. On the other hand, I've heard that the closer kids get to two years of age, the less flexible they are (God, help me!) and the harder it is to wean. I don't want weaning to be a battle of wills in the months ahead. Maybe I should start the process now. The only feeding that I think Delaney will really miss is the morning one. When she wakes up, Roger gets her and changes her diaper and brings her to me in bed. I nurse her there for about a half hour while the three of us drift in and out of sleep. It's a peaceful, wonderful, lovely time of the day. Delaney's very attached to this time and would miss it and I really would too.
Until I can figure out when and how to wean her, I'm going to continue with business as usual and feed her when she wants it. I think the answer to the if and the when will come naturally and if it doesn't and I develop a strong feeling that it's time to wean, I'll follow that gut instinct. No matter what, it will be a bittersweet time and I'm pretty sure nothing can prepare me for it. It's something she and I will experience together and something that I'll always remember.