"Delaney, would you like some breakfast?"
"Delaney, mama needs to change your diaper."
"Hey, want to play?"
"Do you want to go walking with mommy?"
"Want to say no?"
I swear the only question (or statement for that matter) she'll answer yes to is, "Would you like a cookie?"
Which brings me to tonight's episode. I don't know why, but I was under the impression that tantrums were so two-year-old and that I had at least several months to go before being confronted by one. Um, as Delaney would put it, no. After what I thought was a restful, if out-of-character, two-hour nap this afternoon Delaney woke up and wanted cookies for dinner. As I strapped her into her high chair, I gently reminded her (for the 4,348th time today) that cookies are a "sometime food" (Thank you, new-and-improved-health-conscious Cookie Monster!). But that? That don't play with Miss Delaney. And so she continued to demand "Kooo-keees! Kooo-keees!" while pointing animatedly at the box atop the refrigerator. In mere seconds, what begun as a bold request bloomed into a full-on screamfest, complete with tears and snot, that lasted 20 minutes (dear lord!).
Yikes. I'm ill-prepared for this parenting gig, at least for the real challenges. I'm down with the easy stuff. I can breastfeed, burp, diaper and rock babies until the cows come home. But dealing with a toddler and her slightly manic depressive personality of late has me perplexed as heck.
In total desperation mode and unable to settle her down I called Roger hoping he'd bestow upon me some of the parenting wisdom he'd gained over last 18 years. His reply on how I should handle the situation? "Walk around with her." Thanks, Honey, but I'd been trying that for ten minutes with no luck. In a last-ditch effort I turned on "LaLa" (Elmo) for a few minutes. The result? Instant calm. The storm passed and by the time Roger got home, she was happily eating dinner in the dining room without so much as a tear in her eye.
Did she get that cookie after all? No. Mama may be ill-prepared, but she's no idiot.