I'm (nearly) ready to implement this policy in regards to breastfeeding Delaney. I read about it on the Childbearing Hipster's blog many moons ago when her tagline was, "My breastmilkshake is better than yours." I haven't been very firm about it yet, because although each time I tell myself I'm not going to offer her the breast after naps, when she doesn't ask me for it I'm all, "Um, Delaney? Want some milk? Sure you don't want some milk? (flashing the boob) Oooh, look what mama's got!" Somehow, I think that's offering it. Also? It makes me a desperate loser.
Sometimes she does want to nurse and says, "Mullk!" excitedly but other times she'll firmly tell me, "No!" and turn away. It's the turning away that crumbles my soul to dust. I always had the goods she wanted but now she's free to choose whether or not she wants 'em. Even though it's time--she's probably ready, I should be ready--I'm sad to realize the end is near. Oh, geez. There I go again. LOSER!
OK. Deep down I know it's not about her rejecting me. She's rejecting breastfeeding. She's growing up. But it's hard not to take it personally. So the whole, "Don't offer, don't refuse" thing? Not going so well yet. But, I'm cautiously optimistic. And I may not have a choice.
I've got a colonoscopy scheduled for next week so I can't nurse her at all that day (The upside? The meds ROCK--like three margaritas with no hangover, thankyouverymuch.). I've put off this long-overdue follow-up test, from the little bout of colon cancer I indured eight years ago, because I've been either pregnant or nursing. Now I don't have that excuse as Delaney can clearly handle a day without the boobs. (Oh? Have I not adequately mentioned the slightly cancerous polyp that luckily was found early and removed but led me to lose half my colon? That's a story for another day. The only interesting thing about having had that experience is the look I get to see on people's faces when I mention I had "ass cancer" at the ripe old age of 26. That phrase tends to make people all kinds of uncomfortable. Their reactions run the gamut and boy is it fascinating to see what comes out of their mouth next.) I wonder if one day without nursing will be all she needs to turn away from breastfeeding completely. We're already down to two times a day as it is. Maybe that would be the best thing...just wean quickly like rippping off a band-aid. It'll hurt (me) terribly at the time, but the emotional pain of it will dissapate quickly and not be long and drawn out. Right? Right???
***Updated to add: I think this is it. We're on the fast track to weaning now. Delaney didn't ask to nurse after either of her naps today. She only nursed this morning. That's never happened and tonight my boobs are nice and firm (Too bad they can't comfortably stay that way. I'd look good in a D cup!).