Read Part 1 here.
Maybe it's the hormones. Maybe it's the going-on-over-three-weeks-now sinus infection. Maybe it's just my prerogative. But I think I'm changing my mind about the tubal ligation. Suddenly, it's starting to make sense. Hear me out.
The first trimesters of both pregnancies I've experienced have been hell. The morning sickness, the weight loss, the acne, the exhaustion. I know I don't want to go through that again. Also, while pregnant, I'm prone to rabid, debilitating sinus infections (see above) and because I'm pregnant I can't take the good drugs that would give me relief. To the average person who's lucky enough not to suffer from these nasal demons it may not seem like a big deal. Trust me, it is. The inability to breathe oxygen for weeks at a time tends to make you a little pissy, to say the least. I've been sick for 6 weeks out of the last 10 and I've already been on four different antibiotics and I'm still suffering. Knowing that pregnancy exacerbates my sinus problems doesn't make me want to jump on the conception bandwagon again.
And, because Roger and I have agreed that we are done expanding our family and my getting the tubal during my already scheduled surgery would save us the cost of booking a separate surgery for him, it's starting to make financial sense too.
I also imagine that it will be sort of freeing not to worry every month if pregnancy could possibly have occurred. I kind of like the idea of being in control (as much as one can be) of my own reproductive abilities.
Add to that the fact that even if something happened and Roger wasn't here, I know in my heart that no matter what happens or who came along I wouldn't be ready or willing to have another baby with anyone for several years (if ever). By that time I'll be into my 40s and I definitely don't want to have a baby at that stage of my life.
I'm still thinking it over but after really dissecting my reasons for not wanting the tubal vs. the reasons for getting one, there is a better than good chance I'll be surprising my OB on Tuesday with a different answer than the one I gave her the first time we discussed the topic.