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« Feeling much better today | Main | Safe and clean peace of mind for the germaphobes among us »

Comments

Monica

Oh boy, I know just what you mean. We've only had one episode so far and it involved a full-on punch in the face. I was furious and upset and overwhelmed. It was a bad day. Luckily, though, it's never been repeated. The mix of emotions you felt is SO normal -- I was furious at my son, but also so sad for him. Just remember that what she did is normal (but not acceptable of course) and your reaction was also normal.

mamasutra

I'm so sorry...this was one of the hardest things we had to deal with as well. It will get better! Really really! And I don't think it has anything to do with what you and Roger have/haven't done to prepare Delaney. I doubt there's a sib anywhere who has managed to avoid incidents like this. But, yeah, it gave me that pang in my heart because I remember bawling my eyes out the first time I had to see it happen at our house.

karen

Take a deep breath (and maybe a glass of wine)! I'm sure you and Roger are doing fine with Delaney and incorporating Waylon into the family. There are bound to be a few bumps along the way.

When Lars was new at home, Ross (then 2) dropped a heavy toy on Lars' head and then watched the shrieking baby with a sort of clinical interest. Oh, the fury I felt! I was suddenly sure I knew exactly how a mother bear feels when lunging at a predator. It turned out that Ross had just wanted to give the baby a toy to play with and hadn't meant any harm. It gave Chris and I a huge wakeup that we needed to actually teach Ross how to play with the baby, not just expect that our toddler would figure it out by observation. Toward this, and also in the name of spending more time paying attention to Ross, we got him to help with caring for Lars. I learned how to nurse the baby and have Ross cuddled up on the other side while we read a book. When Lars had a bottle, Ross could sometimes hold Lars while he ate. On the attention for Ross scale, this worked especially well if he sat on my or Chris' lap, with Lars cradled on top. We also tried to identify some new thing the baby should be doing that Ross could watch out for, like Lars being able to follow a bright object with his eyes or pull up on his arms at tummy time. Engaging Ross in what was going on with the baby maybe made him feel he was more a part of the newly expanded family? You know Delaney and what she likes to do. Maybe there are parts of the routine you're building around Waylon that she can help with?

Mindy

I sure can remember having to scream UNCLE at my own brother- (who you affectionately call your husband and the father of your children) ... but it is normal, albiet unacceptable behavior.
There will always be the older sister/baby brother reactions between them - and while she can be the one to beat him up, I promise... she will also be the one standing next to him protecting him on the school bus!
It's NOT YOU! Breathe....
I love you!

pcosMama

Wow, I must admit I might not have handled the situation quite so well! This is a nice reminder to me that I'll also have to make more time for my daughter now that Daddy is going back to work.
I think you did great, and hopefully Delaney learned her lesson by losing her favorite toys. And now you know what cues to watch for in her so you know when she really needs some extra attention.
It's tough trying to find time for the older sibling when so much of your time is devoted to caring for a newborn! There just aren't enough hours in the day...

Arkie Mama

It does get better a few years from now, when they're both old enough to enjoy interacting with each other. Of course, then comes the tattle-taling...

MamaChristy

I am so sorry to hear that such a scary thing happened. Everyone here is right - it is NOT your fault! Delaney KNOWS that is not something she should do and she did it anyway. I think that she admitted what she did shows that you have instilled in her that this behavior is unacceptable, and while she still might have a bit of a problem with impulse control when it comes to scratching, there isn't anything you need to do but be firm with her and constant in punishment for it. I know you know all this and do it, so there isn't more you can really do.

We are here for you, lovely, and are so sorry that you are having a difficult time!

FireMom

It hasn't happened here yet. Knock on wood. He's gotten less than easy, wanting to tickle, but nothing overtly physical. We're waiting, of course.

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