The Delaney and Waylon Diaries

First food

It's official: he's ours. Took to food like a fish to water. Like a child to candy. Like an Irishman (or is it a mother?) to scotch. It's all smorgasbords and spaghetti from here on out...

Exhale (for a minute)

This is probably not the longest break I've ever taken from writing on this blog but it's certainly the longest I've ever gone without reading or commenting on other blogs. I have no idea what's going on with anyone out there! How've ya'll been?

Life has had me by the hair and given me a good shake lately. "I'm busy!" is an understatement. We are living in the big house and it is fantastic but we're not exactly unpacked. The bare essentials are available to us indoors but lots of stuff remains in boxes in the garage. Makes me wonder if we need all that stuff (RIP George Carlin). I don't think we really miss most of it and it's possible I don't even know what's out there.

The old house is finally on the market as of a few days ago. While that lets Roger and me heave a sigh of relief, now we're just waiting, hoping, praying for an offer to come in, which isn't as physically stressful as getting the house ready but is kinda tough on the nerves. We've done all we can to freshen the place up and now what happens next is out of our hands. For a control freak like me, that's hard to take.

Work has been non-stop and while it (in addition to raising the kids) leaves almost no time for anything else, it's been so enjoyable. I'm lucky to get paid to do what I love. But it would be nice to take a break. Don't see that happening any time soon though.

Waylon got his Prevnar shot last week and, like all the other vacs he's received, what it really shot was his sleep pattern. He sleeps terrible for 4-5 nights after he receives them. And, because he's on the alternate vac schedule, that means we go through a crappy week at least once each month. Not fun, but I guess it's a small price to pay for the peace of mind I get from not giving him the shots all at once. He'll be six months old tomorrow and I haven't been able to fully process that, what with the move and everything else. It just can't be that six months have passed. They have truly been the most difficult six months of my life in terms of the stress and changes we've all been through but I wouldn't change a thing. He is big and broad and smiley and full of laughter and he never stops moving. I never knew that having a son would open my heart this way.

Delaney loves going to school three days a week (mom's kind of fond of it too). She had a few rough days transitioning from the old house to two weeks at nana & papa's house but once we moved into the big house she adapted wonderfully even though she caught a nasty cold. She loves her bedroom and her new playroom and outdoor playscape. She goes up and down the stairs with ease. And we no longer have a baby monitor in her room since we moved it to Waylon's room (this was a weird and big step for me because we've always had one in her room and not hearing my baby girl sigh in her sleep was unsettling for a night or two).

We are here, finally, in this house, making special new memories together. On our second night, after dinner, the four of us played in our new backyard. I sat with Waylon while Roger pushed Delaney on her swing. The heat of another south Texas summer day began to fade as a warm breeze blew around us, ushering in the beginnings of night. My heart flooded with a peacefulness and sense of complete satisfaction. This house, this kind of night, was why we'd worked so hard for so long, sacrificing weeks, really months, of family time. And it's only just the start of our wonderful, new life here together.

I am mama, hear me ROAR

My discussion with our pediatrician, Dr. R., went better than expected today. That's not to say he didn't try to talk me out of an alternative vaccination schedule or that he didn't give me a lecture on the horrible dangers my baby boy may face if I delay certain vacs or that he didn't blame vaccine opponents for spreading misinformation that could potentially cause a future increase in some pretty terrible diseases in our population. But, he did listen. We spoke respectfully to each other. I showed him The Vaccine Book (he'd heard of it but hadn't read it) and told him that reading it had enlightened my view of vaccinations, leading me to make the decision that an alternative schedule is best for Waylon. I was calm and confident and felt strongly about my position so I knew I had a good chance of making a positive impact on him. And our appointment ended in a compromise and an unexpected hug from Dr. R. which, for a non-hugging kind of guy, was a pretty big deal.

I went in to the office today determined only to get the DTaP and Rotavirus vacs for Waylon. I'd planned to delay the Pc and HIB for a month. Dr. R. did his best to put the fear of God into me over delaying the HIB vaccine as he described the two cases of resulting meningitis he'd seen during his 20+ years in pediatrics (one patient, a baby, died and the other patient graduated from high school but will never have friends or a job due to his disabilities). And although in The Vaccine Book Dr. Sears describes the risk from HIB as uncommon, with only about 25 cases in our country each year, I felt that going ahead with it today, especially since the brand they were offering was aluminum-free, would be a good compromise to show our concerned doctor that I was willing to listen to and respect his opinions.

Still, it was obvious that he was quite bothered that I was challenging the norm. He told me that if I'd said I didn't want to vaccinate at all he'd have to "let me go" because as a practice they had decided not to support non-vaccinating parents (He also said he was not 100% comfortable with that policy because he felt that if the parents stayed in the practice he'd eventually be able to convince them to get their kids vaccinated.). I, personally, think it's wrong to punish parents (and thereby their kids) from having opinions that differ from your own. You know, "do no harm" and all that. He kept trying to reassure me that his frustration stemmed not only from me declaring my position today but the fact that he's hearing from more and more parents who are concerned about vaccinating and that slows things down. I'm sure he wonders why we can't all just be quiet and trust and obey. But questioning the norm can only be a good thing. I told him that doctors shouldn't feel threatened by educated parents who are thoughtful and concerned enough to read, to research, to ask questions. He agreed, but rather grumpily.

I asked him what he thought about the aluminum content in several of the vaccines and whether or not a baby's kidneys could be expected to excrete the large amount included in combo vacs. He wasn't sure (and according to Dr. Sears, no one is. No extensive studies have been done to show that excessive aluminum is or is not a problem. But wouldn't you rather err on the side of caution and give your baby only one aluminum vaccine per visit that he's likely to be able to excrete in his urine instead of possibly overloading his system with a heavy metal that, in large quantities, he may not be able to excrete causing it to accumulate in his bones and brain?). I asked him about the animal tissues (cow fetal blood parts and monkey kidney tissue) present in some of the vacs as well as chemicals such as formaldehyde and how safe they are or aren't. He wasn't sure about that either. Then, I (rather respectfully I'd like to think) offered to lend him my copy of The Vaccine Book. If his patients are constantly bringing it up I thought he'd like to know, first-hand, what he's up against. He (rather respectfully) declined and instead said he'd have his medical student give it a look. Well, small steps will still get you where you want to go, I guess. At least he didn't didn't dismiss the suggestion completely.

I think it's probably easy for all doctors, not just pediatricians, to fall into a pattern of following the status quo and not questioning things. They are busy. They have lives outside of medicine. They trust that the AAP and the AMA will do their due diligence and keep them informed of important changes in the way things are done. And while I'm sure most doctors keep up with studies released in various medical journals regarding things such as the safety of vaccines, not all studies are independent which makes you wonder whose agendas could potentially be behind them. The bigger issue here, in my opinion, is that doctors should not chastise or dump parents who ask questions, who need answers, who want to be reassured that what they're being told to do is safe, especially when it comes to the health and wellbeing of their most precious, adored children.

Luckily, albeit begrudgingly, our pediatrician is open to working with me on an alternative vaccination schedule. I fear that many parents across the U.S. aren't finding this same flexibility with their doctors.

This is all for him because I never, ever want that perfect smile to be erased from his amazing, little face.

Why I get to find out what our pediatrician's really made of

I'll be bringing up the topic of a delayed vaccination schedule with him tomorrow at Waylon's four-month visit. Honestly, this is something I never thought I'd do. When Delaney was born I a.) wasn't very educated about vaccines and b.) wasn't very concerned about any adverse effects from them. And when Waylon was born I wasn't worried about the shots either. Vaccines never bothered Delaney one little bit. The kid never even got a fever. I just assumed Way would handle it all well too. But when he had a fever of 103 for 48 hours and wouldn't sleep for more than an hour at a time for four days straight after getting his two-month vacs I started to get nervous. Add to that the fact that we could (possibly but hopefully not probably) have risk factors for autism: 1 in 88 boys get autism; a father's advanced age may make a child more susceptible to autism (Roger's 54); Way has had more digestive issues (albeit minor ones) than his sister ever did as a newborn; and I became downright concerned about vaccinating. So I did what any self-respecting, 21st century, uninformed-about-vaccines mother would do. I ordered a book from Amazon.

I chose Dr. Sears', The Vaccine Book, because the reviews I'd read of it labeled it as middle-of-the-road--neither pro-  nor anti-vaccine--and I really wanted as unbiased an opinion as I could get. It's a great book and if you have any questions or concerns about vaccinating I highly recommend it. While the vaccine debate is daunting (to un-scientific me, at least), Sears carefully spelled everything out for me and it was a quick but enlightening read. Going into this I never though of myself as "anti-vaccine." But I did have reservations about the side effects of vaccines as well as concerns about what chemicals and additives they might contain. Sears details each AAP recommend vac, the disease it works to prevent and the way in which the vac is produced (including lists of ingredients). After reading the book I'm still in favor of vaccines but Sears did make me a believer in an alternative vaccination schedule that, while still including each and every AAP recommended vaccine, spreads out the delivery so that children get no more than two vacs at each visit.

Our pediatrician's an older guy (probably Roger's age - ha!) and he's pretty old school. We like him because he's straight-forward, no nonsense and he listens to our my concerns (Roger doesn't have concerns - ahhhh, what life must be like to live worry-free!). Tomorrow I'll be bringing my dogeared, highlighted, and annotated copy of Sears' book to discuss with him my quest to get our son onto an alternative vaccination schedule that doesn't include combination shots. His nurse practitioner assures me that he's more liberal on the vaccine debate than the other doctors in the practice but that may be like saying Rush Limbaugh is more liberal than Ann Coulter. I'm a little nervous but when I remember that I'm doing this because my mother gut tells me to, I know I'm doing the right thing. Wish me luck!

Super Chardonnay-istic Saturday (the antidote to Brutally Honest Monday)

This week:

- I complained about being a mother (oooh, poor me!).

- Delaney may have bid farewell to The Nap (although she's cried no nap before so, God help me, I hope I'm wrong.).

- Waylon started giggling when I change his diaper. They do start that penis love early, don't they?

- A sweet bloggy friend sent me some cheer-you-up Sbux cash (Thank you, Karen, for knowing just what I need--caffeine and cranberry orange scones--even though you told me not to thank you and yes, you are crazy for suggesting I take both kids to Sbux but that's OK because I only target Sbux drive-thrus these days, thankyouverymuch, so your cool gift will still come in very handy.).

- I won a prize from the awesomest poly sci moms on the planet (Momocrats. What? You're not reading them? During the hottest political season ever? You SO should be. Check 'em out.).

- We attended three playdates in two days and no one got hurt.

- And...Delaney finally started to chill the F out. Sure, it could be a fluke. Sure, I'm probably jinxing it by even mentioning it. Sure, I might go back to bitching about motherhood tomorrow. But since my rant on Monday she's really turned things around (even without naps!) and been a pleasant daughter, sister and playmate. I'm so proud of her. I'm not sure what to attribute the change to but kudos to the powers that be. Keep up the good work (I'll burn incense and squirrel fur later tonight for an offering).

Now, both kids are in bed. I just enjoyed a takeout sushi dinner with my husband while forcing him to watch enjoying his company during game 1 of the Spurs/Hornets series and I'm drinking a dry, oak-y chardonnay. Not a bad way to kick off Super Chardonnay-istic Saturdays. Cheers! (and Go, Spurs, Go!)

This is what happens when I try to work

Waylon - 1
Working from home - 0

Spit gets in your eyes

Waylon blew his first raspberries today!

In other news, Delaney's learned that she can get out of bed by herself--a revelation that now drags bedtime out to a darling, three-hour process as she invents every imaginable excuse to come into the living room to see us. Good times.

Love Thursday: Love the swaddle!

Working from home, even with Delaney away at preschool two days a week, has been ridiculously challenging. Waylon always wants to be held or entertained. And while it's completely tempting to fill my days by making him smile and giggle, I have work to do (tons of it!). I usually pop him in the swing or the bouncy seat near my desk so he can see me and I always hope he'll nap there but he rarely does. Now that he's three months old I really need to start getting him into a nap routine. Naps, I thought the other day as he fussed at me, are what I need to get some work done around here.

For some reason it never occurred to me before (as if I'm some kind of amateur at this mom thing) that naps should be handled like bedtime. At night when I put him to bed he's swaddled in his (mother-saving) Swaddle Me blanket and he generally goes right to sleep and sleeps through the night. On Tuesday I tried putting him down, swaddled but awake, in his bassinet. He slept for two and a half hours! I actually had to wake him up to feed him before picking Delaney up at school. Today I got smart and tried the same trick but I tried it earlier in the morning than I had on Tuesday. And it worked! He's been in his bed, sleeping, for the last two hours. The 'duh' factor here is enormous. If I'd only tried this tactic a few weeks ago I might have gotten even more work done. So today, on Love Thursday, I'm loving the Swaddle Me blanket. I don't know where we'd be (or how I'd ever work!) without it.

Other work-from-home moms will recognize this picture...

...because it's one example of how we attempt to entertain our babies while working. Throw in a few more kids and this place would look exactly like a daycare center.

Today was my first day back to work from a very brief, eight-week maternity leave. While part of me was not at all ready to go back it was exciting immersing myself in my job again and using my partially -post-partum-addled brain. The hardest part was not playing with Way the entire time because today, one day before his two-month birthday, he found his laugh!

Mama's all set for her afternoon playdate

P.S. Mister Man slept 8-9 hours IN A ROW for the last three nights. This is a completely just reason for mixing wine, playdates and celebration, I assure you.