Let's talk about my hayhay

OK. Maybe not. But starting off a post with that statement is a stellar way to kick things off, don't you think? In email conversations yesterday with the illustrious Mrs. Flinger (she of Mom's Daily Dose's John Cougar Mellencamp Hurt So Good Blog Award of Excellence fame) I promised her more hayhay talk on my blog. See, we're talking about meeting face-to-face in the fall when she's touring the great state of Texas and since she writes about her own hayhay with great frequency, we figured it was only fair for me to start sharing about mine too. Yes, feel the intimacy. Anyway long story short, this post references, ever so slightly, my hayhay. Bear with me.

Yesterday, while I was trying to entertain Delaney, she picked up her gym diaper bag and dumped almost everything out. She loves tipping my bags and purses over and emptying them. But, what she's never done before is play pretend afterwards. She swung the bag over one shoulder, looked at me, said, "Bye, bye," and tried to open the front door. It was so adorable that I had to pick up the video camera to get it on film. This game went on for about ten minutes until she got bored with it and plopped down. Then, she started looking through what I thought was an empty bag. In a side pocket she pulled out a tampon I must have shoved in there a while back. She brandished it like she'd found burried treasure and tried to tell me it was a pea. A pea? Well, to be fair, the package was bright green with dark green dots and she'd just had peas for lunch. So, you can understand her momentary confusion. It was only momentary, though, because what she did next was one of the funniest things I've ever seen.

She looked at me and held up the tampon. Grinning, she splayed her legs apart and tried to shove the tampon inside. No, I'm not kidding. I was dumbstruck and in between howls of laughter I asked her, "What is that? What do you do with that?" while she continued trying to stick the thing "up there." And, as if that wasn't enough, she then toddled over to the dog and tried to insert it into her too. That didn't go over very well. Mathilde's protective of her privacy.

So, back to my hayhay. Delaney accompanies me to the "potty" quite frequently. I'm pretty discreet but I can recall one, maybe two, times she witnessed me using a tampon. That little brain of hers must work overtime because she'd filed that info away and knew exactly what to do with her "pea" when the time came.

I GOT IT ALL ON VIDEO. So, you know that when she's 13 and trying to sass me, I'll just pull the footage out and ask her which day and time would be convenient for her friends to come over for a screening. Ohhhhh, yeah.

Comments

[heather]

Oh my god. What a good story. I keep wondering if my 17-month old son will be scarred for life after witnessing me insert a tampon.

[MamaChristy]

I laughed out loud. That is classic and I hope that you will share that video with me sometime. Damn these smart kids! :)

[Jamie]

That's hilarious! Amelia loves to sling my purse over her shoulder however she hasn't found any of my lovely tampons. It did make me a bit nervous when my 4-year-old caught me inserting one about a month ago. I did something lame to distract her, like let her put on my lipstick.

[Jenny]

Holy shit - I am howling over here.

Nothing funnier than a dog wearing a tampon.

Also...what part of Texas?

[Heather]

OMG that almost killed me. The fact you captured that Hallmark moment on film is just priceless...

[Mrs. Flinger]

BUIHAHAHAHAH! OMG. Best. Story. Ever. :: wiping tears :: HAHAHAH!

Luff it. See? It's so free to be open about your hayhay.

I believe we can officially meet now. :-)

[Lisa P]

Oh my goodness!! This is hysterical!! Reminds of of when one of my nephews saw my sister putting on a fresh pad. He asked what it was and she told him it was a big band aid that she needed because she had a boo-boo. Fast forward about a week later . . . my mom was visiting my sister a week later and was complaining about her back hurting. (You see where this is going don't you?) My nephew ran out of the room and came back brandishing a "band aid" for my mom!!

At least it was my mom!! :)

[Cyndy]

That was hysterical! Leda also likes to put bags over her shoulder and wave bye-bye...like she is trying to be me. But the tampon thing... that's just hysterical! At least you won't have to teach her how to do it in her teens! ;-)

[moxiemomma]

oh my lord, miss colleen, i have most certainly been gone too long. you've really kicked it up a notch with the writing, girlfriend--you're in your bloggy groove i double extra love me some delaney diaries!

[moxiemomma]

you're in your bloggy groove AND (duh) i double extra...(whatever i said).

xomox

[Jenny]

Jamie (Miss Blonde Mom) sent me over here. I like the name for your girls, as in "Delaney talks to statues as she's sitting by the pool.." Great name. Great blog!

Jenny

[Whitney]

Glad to find your blog. Thanks for linking to RookieMoms. Nice design!