The last time

I may have nursed Delaney for the last time this morning. When she woke me up on the monitor it was strangely dark outside because it was raining (something that hasn't happened in months). As I carried her to our bed, I knew that this could be it and that I needed to pay special attention to every moment with her instead of trying to catch a few extra Zzzzz's. I watched over her. Brushed her hair from her face. Stroked her cheek. I locked eyes with her when she looked up at me. I told her how much I love her. And, I simply enjoyed the quiet connectedness we shared. It was a beautiful, intimate moment and if it was to be our last time to be together in this way, I am happy with it.

My "procedure" is tomorrow so I can't nurse her at all. The fortuitous timing of Delaney dropping nursing sessions the week before my date with the booty cam led Roger and me to embark upon Operation Wean. Tomorrow he'll get up with her and take her straight into the kitchen for breakfast instead of into bed with us. Assuming that goes well we'll try again on Thursday and so on for a few days/weeks/whatever it takes for this weaning to stick. The only thing I didn't consider when planning our strategy was that Wizzerbelle is coming Thursday for a visit. Which, is great. We can't wait to see her and we know she'll get a super kick out of seeing all that Delaney's up to. But, it means that Roger and I will be sleeping in Delaney's room (tiny houses suck) so I'm not sure Delaney will want to stick with the whole weaning thing if she sees me right away when she wakes up. We'll just have to see what happens. I'm not going to stress about it. Because if she doesn't wean completely this week it just means that sometime in the near future I'll get to experience another "last time." And as wonderful as this morning's was, that would be a very good thing.

Comments

[karen]

Booty cam! I love it. Well, not the application of same, I'm sure, but the phrase brings a chuckle. Good luck tomorrow...

When our first was ready to wean, we turned that first bit of morning time into just a cuddle. You don't have to lose the closeness just because you're not whipping out a boob!

[Ann D]

I remember that bittersweet feeling, wondering if this was "it" -- that final feeding. You expressed everything so poignantly in your post. You really took me back. xo

[Heather]

Wow, Colleen. Thanks for posting this. Very powerful stuff.