The Delaney and Waylon Diaries

It was bound to happen

A lovely stranger asked me today when I'm due. When I said, December 28, he did a double-take and asked if I was having twins. Gulp. Yeah, I'm kinda big right now. It snuck up on me but apparently it hasn't snuck up on anyone else.

Upon seeing me last week my dad commented, "Wow, you're getting big!" When I showed Roger a photo of me at 37 weeks pregnant with Delaney and asked him if I look that big now (at 33 weeks) he said, "Oh, yeah. The kid's gonna be a linebacker...not that I'm happy about that." (Roger's not exactly a sports fan).

Despite my only gaining 18 pounds so far (I guess there is something good to be said about enduring 16 horrible weeks of morning sickness), I'm gigantic.

Today, while feeling new baby's position and declaring him "heads down" my doctor also mentioned that, "he's got a pretty big head!" The good thing to be said about that? Hello, C-section.

The afters

I didn't do the best job taking these photos and I wish I'd paid better attention, but you'll get the idea. One thing that doesn't translate well is the paint color. The old wall color was cream. The new color is a pale green (actual name is "soothing aloe") and while understated, it does look great in the "new" room.

As Tim Gunn says, "Make it work!"

One of the top five questions on the minds of family and friends since we announced this pregnancy is, "Where ya gonna put that new kid?" Because we live in a shoebox it stands to reason that people would wonder. When we found out we were pregnant with Delaney three years ago we assumed we'd have to move before she was born. This house would be way too small for three people, or so we thought. But, we stayed and we adjusted. We didn't do any major decorating to the extra bedroom that we turned into our nursery other than adding a border to the top of the room (John Lennon's Musical Parade -- it was Delaney's nursery theme) but we did transform it from a bedroom/office into a cute, comfy place to raise our baby.

We didn't want to move then, and we don't want to move now, because we love the area in which we live. It's less than 10 minutes from the center of the city. It's not crafted out of suburban concrete and strip mall centers rife with chain stores. Our 'hood has big, shady, old trees and independently owned restaurants and shops. It's got personality. And the housing prices, even in the current market, only continue to increase. Our dream is to one day add on to our house but that hasn't been feasible yet.

When we found out about new baby's impending arrival we again considered moving but after thinking through our options (which, let's be honest, is generally limited to one option: us moving north and into the suburban area that we're just not crazy about) we decided to stay. That meant getting creative with our current shoebox. Delaney and her brother will be sharing a room so we've spent lots of time planning how to rework and rearrange things to create more space. We sold the queen bed that had been taking up residence in Delaney's room and was rarely used. We transitioned Delaney from her crib to a toddler bed. Roger took the doors off of the closet and added closet organizing and space maximizing hardware. And he painted. This weekend the room finally came together. And, while it still needs a few design touches that we'll be adding in the next few weeks, it looks great. I'm amazed by how much space we were wasting in there that will now be used.

Here are some "before" photos. Tomorrow I'll have some "afters" for your viewing pleasure. It'll still be cramped in this tiny home we've made for ourselves. I'm still not convinced that we won't go crazy with four of us living here. But I'm proud of us for making it work, at least for now and at least until a better option presents itself.

BEFORE:

To tie or not to tie, that was the question, Part 2

Read Part 1 here.

Maybe it's the hormones. Maybe it's the going-on-over-three-weeks-now sinus infection. Maybe it's just my prerogative. But I think I'm changing my mind about the tubal ligation. Suddenly, it's starting to make sense. Hear me out.

The first trimesters of both pregnancies I've experienced have been hell. The morning sickness, the weight loss, the acne, the exhaustion. I know I don't want to go through that again. Also, while pregnant, I'm prone to rabid, debilitating sinus infections (see above) and because I'm pregnant I can't take the good drugs that would give me relief. To the average person who's lucky enough not to suffer from these nasal demons it may not seem like a big deal. Trust me, it is. The inability to breathe oxygen for weeks at a time tends to make you a little pissy, to say the least. I've been sick for 6 weeks out of the last 10 and I've already been on four different antibiotics and I'm still suffering. Knowing that pregnancy exacerbates my sinus problems doesn't make me want to jump on the conception bandwagon again.

And, because Roger and I have agreed that we are done expanding our family and my getting the tubal during my already scheduled surgery would save us the cost of booking a separate surgery for him, it's starting to make financial sense too.

I also imagine that it will be sort of freeing not to worry every month if pregnancy could possibly have occurred. I kind of like the idea of being in control (as much as one can be) of my own reproductive abilities.

Add to that the fact that even if something happened and Roger wasn't here, I know in my heart that no matter what happens or who came along I wouldn't be ready or willing to have another baby with anyone for several years (if ever). By that time I'll be into my 40s and I definitely don't want to have a baby at that stage of my life.

I'm still thinking it over but after really dissecting my reasons for not wanting the tubal vs. the reasons for getting one, there is a better than good chance I'll be surprising my OB on Tuesday with a different answer than the one I gave her the first time we discussed the topic.

Sling help

I didn't use a sling when Delaney was born. Didn't even know they existed at the time. We had a snuggly (cheap Baby Bjorn thing) but Roger used it more than I did. I found it to be uncomfortable and Delaney never really took to it when I wore it. But this time around I'd love a great-fitting, comfortable, light-weight sling. There are so many out there now. How do you know which one's right for you? What sling(s) do you love?

To tie or not to tie, that was the question

"OK. We're ready to schedule your C-section this visit. Have you decided whether or not you want your tubes tied yet?" my OB asked.

"I've decided we can skip that portion of the program, thanks," I replied.

"You do know that it's a simple procedure I can take care of since I'll have you open anyway?"

"Yes, but I have my reasons. If you must know, and this may sound morbid, my husband is 18 years older than me. And, although I'm no a spring chicken myself, I have to wonder what I'd want if something ever happened to him. I mean, what if he was gone and eventually I fell in love with someone else, someone who didn't have kids and he loved me too but he couldn't see get married to someone who can't have kids with him? Tying my tubes seems so...final. See? Morbid. But, I think about these things. Is that crazy?"

"No," she replied. "Makes sense to me. But let me know if you change your mind. You said you were done having children after this one and it's a simple procedure."

"I am done having kids after this little guy shows up. I can't imagine going through another first trimester again. Ugh. But I feel it's only fair to keep my options open. God. There I go again with the morbid stuff. I don't ever want to imagine my husband gone but with the age thing I have to factor it in as a possibility someday. Him? He's 100% sure he's done having kids. I'm wife #3 and even if something happened to me, he'd saw IT off before he'd hook up and have another kid with somebody again. Ball's in his court, so to speak. The snipping is all but scheduled."

What do you think? Is it crazy not to get your tubes tied when you feel done with having kids? And after two C-sections isn't it rational for me to ask Roger to do his part and get the boys unhooked for good?

And now I finally feel like a WAY pregnant woman...

I'm starting to waddle. I don't think I ever did that during my pregnancy with Delaney (or, if I did, memory loss has been kind to me in that department). Despite a modest weight gain thus far, I suddenly started to look huge in the last day or two (and I know this is true because my husband agrees with me on this fact and thinks that I'll be birthing a 14-pounder this time around - Delaney was 10 lbs., 6 oz.). I feel even huger than I look (Huger. Is that even a word? It must be a word. It sure feels like a word.). New baby is growing by leaps and bounds and leaping by bounds and, well, whatever. He sure does move a lot. Which is good because it means I'm not constantly freaking out, wondering if he's OK in there. But it's just so different from when I was pregnant with Delaney.

Time is falling away and before I know it, he'll be here. Fall always goes by too quickly for me. It's my favorite season, the one with the pleasant weather that leads up to all the fun and frolicking of the holidays with family and friends. I think time will pass even faster this year because I'm not quite ready for new baby to get here yet. We have so much to do. We still live in this tiny house and while we're resigned to staying for the time being, we have some changes to make before he gets here.

New baby and Delaney will share a room so I'm in the process of a small redecoration project which I want to have done before his birth. And, we're hoping to transform our sun room into a usable utility room so I don't have to schlep both kids outside in winter to do the laundry (our washer and dryer currently reside in a room off of the garage and come rain, shine, sleet, unbearable heat or (rarely) snow, you can find me out in that dingy, dirty room fighting to keep the freshly washed clothing clean as I dodge bees or spiders or whatever's currently living out there. Heaven, it ain't.

The time is flying by too and I don't know if we'll be able to take the beach trip with Delaney that we'd hoped for. And Roger and I also wanted to go on a romantic getaway for a weekend to celebrate our anniversary this month. But between those home projects, a pending garage sale, the eventual Christmas shopping and wrapping and everything that needs to be done in the next two months, I don't know how we'll fit those trips in. Still, I hope we do. Or, I hope that we can go on at least one of them. We haven't had a family trip since our car-trek across America in June and Roger and I haven't been away, alone, together since January (and that "trip", lovely as it was, was only to a downtown hotel for 19 hours). We need to make time to be alone now, before new baby comes, because once he gets here it'll be a long, damn time before we're afforded the chance to be alone like that in the near future.

I guess what I'm saying is that the nesting hasn't kicked in, but the panic sure is starting to. How can we fit in everything that we need and want to before December 29th?

Sorry, Charlie (ur, I mean, Emily)

That's right. We broke Emily's gender-guessing streak. We're having a boy! I am happy and thrilled and terrified all at the same time. I really had been feeling "girl" lately and couldn't figure out how I got it so wrong. Maybe the fact that this baby's way squirmier than Delaney was should have tipped me off. Most of the boys I know are so active. Surely that was this baby boy's sign to me?

My doctor said she saw a "protrusion" at least twice during the ultrasound although I couldn't see a thing other than his cute, little skeletor-looking face. She's going to check me again in four weeks to get a photo that will be sure to convince me but she also said she feels confident enough in her opinion to suggest that I start buying boy clothes.

Wow. A boy.  I'm still in shock (the good and happy kind, of course, but shock nonetheless). Maybe starting my boy-themed shopping spree will make it feel more real that we're going to have a son!

It's all about the sex

...of our child-to-be, that is. Tomorrow's the ultrasound during which we may be alerted to the sex of our unborn progeny. I say may because, speaking from experience, this stuff's not always spot on. Although I had two second-trimester ultrasounds with Delaney we never got an "Oh, look at that! It's a GIRL!" shout out from our doc. The best she could do (and her best was pretty good, I'll admit) was that she was 95% sure that Delaney would, in fact, be a girl. It was enough to allow me to accept the pink, frilly baby clothes people graciously gave me at showers but not enough of a certainty to make me paint the nursery pink or fill the room with dolls.

I'm not much of a betting woman so if I were to write here whether I think we're having a boy or a girl, chances are I'll be wrong. I'm thinking girl but can't point to any reason other than the fact that I've felt nearly the same during this pregnancy as I felt when pregnant with Delaney.

As I've mentioned before, we have a boy name pretty much squared away. We have yet to agree on a girl name. Could that mean something? Probably not. Then again, who the heck knows?

I've always thought of myself as a mother of girls. Boys scare me, what with the way they seem to run amok and play battlefield, bashing each other around every chance they get (although, maybe that's just my nephew and his pals?). But I have met quieter, gentler boys too. Maybe I shouldn't be so daunted by the idea of a little son after all.

As I said, I'm not a betting woman, but I think I'll plunk my chips down on Emily's guess this go 'round. Her track record's pretty good and if she's right I won't have to donate all of Delaney's old baby clothes. Mama loves her some hand-me-downs.

Pregnant and cheap

Yesterday I went shopping for a new bathing suit. A maternity bathing suit. As I'm sure many of you will agree with me, bathing suit shopping is equivalent, emotionally, to the pain you feel when receiving a bikini wax: it needs to be done but damn, it ain't pleasant. And having never shopped for a suit while pregnant before, I figured I ought to dread this outing as if I were getting a Brazilian. Add to the fact that my belly started to pop this week and I was doubtful I'd leave the dressing room with even a shred of self worth intact.

Strangely, I found the opposite to be true. I tried on four suits and although they didn't all look great, one did stand out as almost approaching attractive. Well, as attractive as you can appear when sporting a bowling ball around your middle. It had a black and white pattern with a plunging neckline accented in red, which diverted attention to my blossoming bosom. By drawing the eye upward towards my pleasingly perky breasts, this flirty neckline may just keep viewers from noticing (much) my burgeoning belly bulge beneath.

I had a winner! And it only cost me $32.99. Yep, I'm not ashamed to admit that I found this suit at T*rget. Why spend a bundle on a suit I'll only wear a handful of times? This is one pregnant chick who prefers to pinch pennies, especially as far as maternity "fashion" is concerned.